I don’t know when it began and I don’t know how it began but I haven’t been sleeping at all well of late. I have been getting plenty of sleep just at the wrong times. I have been getting up at 10.30/11 o clock and feeling so wasted from my medication that I have been going back to bed after eating something and taking my pills. I usually sleep until 2pm or 3pm and then I will be up until 2am or 3 am. Then the cycle starts over.

Now your probably saying to yourself that “It’s not the medication that’s making you feel wasted it’s your f*cked up sleep patterns.” Well that’s what my CPN who visited me yesterday suggested. We talked it over and she suggested that  take my evening medication MUCH earlier than I normally would.(ie 6pm) and then go to bed at about 10pm and try and get myself back on to some kind of *normal* sleeping pattern. I agreed and last night I complied. BIG MISTAKE.

I went to bed at 9.45 and duely fell asleep pretty much straight away. I did however find myself awake at 1am unable to go back to sleep. So i come down stairs and check my email and have a glass of milk to try and help me get back off. I went back to bed about twenty minutes later and did get back to sleep pretty much straight away. All was going well I thought to myself as I dozed off again….that was until 4am when my eyes pinged open and stayed that way for 30 minutes until I could stand laying down no more. So up I got and came back down to have a cigarette and to check my email again ( I check my email an unhealthely amount each day… it’s a habit I can’t break). This time I was up for close on two hours I watched an interesting film on Hallmark about teh Enron thing, it went well with the bowl of Coco Pops I had.

I had planned on staying up for the duration but by 6.30 I was ready to try for at least a couple more hours.

I woke up at 10.45.

The medication was not really a problem this morning I don’t think as I had taken it plenty early enough. I took my morning pills and got on with my day. But by 2pm I was knackard again. I should have stayed up but my eyes were closing on me. So I wimped out and went back to bed. It wouldn’t be so bad, but it’s not as if I am overly depressed about anything at the moment. My anxiety about going out is still in full effect but the mood has been pretty stable.

I have been up now for the rest of the day and I have taken my pills at around 10pm so hopefully I will get to sleep at some reasonable hour. I know I have to get my sleep patterns sortedout but it’s always easier said than done.

Until Next Time…

Comments are closed.