If music be the food….

As you may have noticed things have been pretty quiet around here with the exception of a spate of posts made about my medication management diary. There will be more of those coming so you will see a lot more posts from me in the near future.

I have been mostly absent from the blogosphere for the past month due to having not much enthusiasm to write. I have to keep the diary so I will be writing more from now on whether I like it or not. Part of my “homework” for medication management, apart from the diary was to create a list of what I like doing for myself. It seems that I am not focusing on the positives that I like doing and I need to be doing more of that apparently. It seems so self indulgent to think just of me when Mum and Linda are going through the same hard times I am. OK they don’t have the voices and hallucinations to deal with or the lack of ability to go out unaided. But things are tight here and we are all having to make bigish sacrifices just to make it from one pay day to the next. I dread the next email I get from the bank. They only email me to tell me they are charging me a fee for going overdrawn on my overdraft or to say I have a statement waiting to be read. It’s usually the previous.

Any way back to that list:

Using the Computer
Creative Writing
Watching Films
Listening to Old Radio Plays
Contributing of various On-line radio Forums
Digital Graphic Art

Looking back over that list I must seem like a very insular person. None of it involves leaving the house. I seem to have become entrenched in the house. I wouldn’t even know where to start to find a hobby that involved leaving the house. There is some talk of my joining a creative writing group at the local library but I don’t have any details on that yet. I do need to find something to do outside of the house, especially seeing as I don’t see myself being back in work anytime soon. If the Bipolar doesn’t kibosh me the economy will. Who in this climate is going to employ a liability like me. Oh well it will all sort itself out in the long run.

I am on week 5 of my medication management programme. I am finally reducing some of the medications. MY Flupentixol is down to 0.5mg am and 1mg at night and I have been taken off of my wonder drug Lorazapam and had it replaced with Diazapam originally at 5mgs and today reduced down to 4mgs. I haven’t really noticed much in the way of withdrawals from the Lorazapam which is something they were worried about. The change over to Diazapam has been smooth. The reason for the change in dosage today was because I mentioned that I had been sleeping a lot over the past week so the doctor reduced the Diazapam too see if that would help.

My life skills group ended the week before last and I miss it. OK I may not have gotten the most out of the group but I did get some good info and it was nice to meet up with a group of people every week to talk. The groups were very loose and our conversations often strayed off course and it was all very anecdotal. everyone had at least one story to share each week and it made the two hours of the group fly by. I look forward to any other groups I can get involved with. My spirit seems lifted after being involved in a talking therapy group type situation. I think it must have something to do with getting out of the house and having someone else to talk to other than the dust bunnies growing around my mouse pad.

I sem to be having problems sleeping. I have been up all night now. It’s now 5.30am and I am still not tired. So i figure I will just stay awake until I do get tired or fall asleep sat at the computer. No doubt the later will happen sooner or later. Linda and Mumn will be getting up to get ready for work soon and I will just sit back and wait to wave them bye bye. I don’t know what’s more depressing, not being able to work or having to work when your sick. I wish there was an easy answer but I just don’t see it at the moment.

The sun is coming up outside. So I will confine this to the archive and say:

Until Next Time…

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