Stop The X Factor Madness

It’s Saturday night and that means one thing… FUCKIN’ X FACTOR on TV for two hours. Have I mentioned how much I hate that programme… I dunno if I have or not but needless to say it’s not in my top million shows to ever have to sit through. Hell I’d even prefer to watch Coronation Street than watch that pile of dog shit TV show. It has no redeeming features what so ever. It gives people false hope and feeds into this society’s need for fame and fortune via the easiest most work shy path with the least amount of resistance. There is a need for these vacuous TV shows. It gives the population false hope that even the little people can make it one day if only they turn up to a cattle call audition. PAH, I just wasted ten minutes ranting over something like that.

Back to me, yet another waste of time…

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday. First time since may of this year. I was getting a little worried that I had been forgotten by them. I saw him during week two of my medication management sessions and I thought at the time it was a bit of a waste of people time seeing both. I mentioned as such and they agreed, so I was (it seems) put to the back of the list only to be seen when all hope was lost.

I mentioned to him that I was having trouble with my moods and that was leading to sleep problems and without missing a beat he prescribed me sleeping pills. It was almost to easy. Not that I was angling for yet another pill to take but damn it I needed something to help me sleep when I was awake at 5 am watching Smallville knowing that the past two days and quite possibly the next two days would be more of the same. I was a little wary of taking sleeping pills as the last time I was given them I had a really bad side effect… I not only slept the night through but for the next 24 hours I did nothing but sleep. It was a nightmare… I didn’t take them again and flushed the rest of them. There were some dopey sewer rats that night.

I popped two of the Zopiclone at about 10.30 thinking it would be about an hour or so and I could head to bed for a nice restful nights sleep.. HAHAHAHA twenty five minutes later I can’t stop yawning so I say “Sod it” and go to bed. I slept through the night and woke up at about 9am and didn’t feel all that bad, still pretty tired but not out of it. Hell it’s Saturday so I can afford to go back to bed and sleep a little longer… again HAHAHAHAHA I wake up again at about 14.30.

I feel fine now and I just hope that I don’t have problems sleeping tonight. I hope that there is enough of the drug left in my system to mellow me out for tonight without having to take any more. If I don’t take any more and have a dodgy night I’ll just ride the wave and see what happens. After finding myself becoming a little reliant on Lorazapam, I don’t need another possible addiction to kick in.

When the psych asked me how I was doing I had to think.. “, does he mean how am I now or how was I 6 months ago”
I gave him the potted history of the moods going up and down and the sleep messing with me left right and centre and that was it. It was pretty much all over before it had started. He is still worried about me being on so much Respiridone so I gave in and let him reduce it by 1mg down to 6mgs a day. We’ll see how that goes, the last time they messed the Respiridone I was on a tailspin in a matter of days. I guess we’ll find out by the end of next week.

I am hoping I can get some minor work done on the website done in the next few days, but Nik is real busy at the moment but when it happens it shouldn’t take to long but If you happen to be here and things go funky you know why.

Until Next Time…

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