Well we are 6 days into 2010 and it’s dilemma time already. For the past ten days or so I have been obsessing over stuff. It’s mostly Doctor Who, but there is other stuff to. I have spent about £100 on Doctor Who DVD’s and I want to spend more. It is taking some real strong will power to overcome this feeling. I have removed all of my payment details from Amazon so I can’t just log on without my card and buy willy nilly. I will give my card to my Mum when she gets home from work. I have had enough of feeling like this. I wish I knew which drug controls the mania side of my BP.
I would call the local MHT but what do I tell them…
“Excuse me but I am obsessing over a 47 year old TV show. Could you please help me?”
I am sure they would have something to say about my wasting their time. What I don’t understand is that apart from the obsessing I seem to be perfectly fine. I am sleeping better than I have in ages. No sleepers and sleeping through the night and staying up through the day without any real problems. I see no other signs of mania. The only conclusion I can come up with is that with being awake more I am drinking more coffee and that is leading me to a more anxious state. Coffee and cigarettes are my only two vices that i partake in on a habitual schedule. It has been suggested on my twitter feed that it could be beneficial to my health (other than the obvious) to quit smoking. But I know that I would be miserable if I did, and my family aren’t ready for a miserable me at the moment.
I don’t make resolutions at New Years as I never stick to them and change should come as a natural progression through life not at some arbitrary time of the year. But I do know that at some point this year I will try and quit smoking. I have been smoking now for 20 years and I think that’s enough. I know I’ll never get my full breathing capacity back but I have to give myself a better shot at making it to 60 without a breathing tube up my nose.
I am losing weight still. I am still not making a concious choice to lose weight, it’s just happening at it’s own pace, but again this year I am going to have to take up some kind of exercise to help shift it a bit quicker. In the next couple of weeks I expect to get a letter informing me to make an appointment to see the areas Diabetes consultant with the view to starting a drug called Byetta. Byetta is a drug that helps control blood sugars but has a side effect of weight loss. It does this by making you feel bloated when you eat thus making you think your fuller than you really are. Sounds like a win win situation to me. I get my blood sugars under control and I get a helping hand at losing the weight. I would like to be under 15 stones by the end of the year.. which means I have about 48 pounds to lose this year. Not an unreasonable goal I don’t think. I am going to start taking more control over the food in the house and start cooking more. We eat an unhealthy amount of take away food at the moment because none of us has the inclination to cook in the evening… that has to change… financially and health wise.
I just read this back and I realise that I MAY be showing slight signs of mania – The obsessing over things, the over spending , making plans that could be out of reach. It all adds up to something I don’t normally do. Whilst none of what I have written is particularly bad (overspending and obsessing aside). The rest is all good plans. But making them in an altered state of mind, I am setting myself up for a fall and a depressing time when/if I realise I can’t fulfil my goals. I don’t seem to be getting anywhere. I am going around in circles.
Any way, I am going to stop wrapping myself up in knots and just get on with the day. Enjoy the snow if you got it and if you don’t revel in the sun because snow is coming your way… even if I have to hand deliver it myself.
Until Next Time…
So Christmas and New Years have come and gone and I made it through it. I spent my time watching loads of TV and not eating a great deal. My appetite for food has gone out of the window. I find myself going the whole day without anything to eat and still not being hungry when it comes to dinner time so I only eat a small meal. It’s bizarre because I used to eat like a pig….not in a trough but I used to eat everything I could lay my hands on. I am hoping to get onto a new diabetes drug in the new year that REQUIRES me to eat twice a day, It can’t be healthy for me not to eat and take all this chemical crap I throw down my throat every day.
Over Christmas and New Years I have had a few drinks. Nothing to much, nothing to heavy just a bottle of red wine spread out over Christmas Day and New Years Day and a couple of glasses of cheap Bucks Fizz we bought last year and never got around to drinking (I think it fermented sat in our kitchen to be honest). I don’t feel any real side effects from drinking like I have done in the past. Maybe because in the past I have been drinking beer and the odd spirit and this time I avoided them and stuck with the fruity stuff. If I have no major mood swings in the next couple of days maybe my dry days are behind me and I can join the human race in enjoying the odd glass of something alcoholic in the future, just as long as I know my limits.
The Doctor looking a little battered
The highlight of the holidays for me was the Finale of David Tennants Doctor Who tenure. It was rounded off with two very epic specials. The first on Christmas day was roundly turned on by raving fanboys and girls for being to sporadic and not having much of a cohesive storyline. But if you sat back and saw it for what it was and took it as advertised Part 1 of a 2 part story then you would (in my mind) have gotten better mileage from the story. The second part that was aired on New Years Day (Last Night) was by far and away the most moving Doctor Who episode I have ever seen. I welled up with a lump in my throat a few times. I think I got away with it.. but knowing my luck Mum and Linda were looking just as that bloody great lump in my throat erupted and saw me swallowing it down.
All in all, I thought the story was very strong, yes there were little niggles in Part one where you were left wondering why this was happening and what possibly be the point in the two spiky headed aliens. They seemed to be thrown in there for comedic effect and in the grand scheme of Part One they were, but they were there for Part two. As I said it’s a story of two halves and should be looked at that way.
The Maniacal Master
It was great to see so much (and I mean MUCH) of John Simm as The Master. He was spellbinding as the maniacal raving cannibalistic TimeLord gone wrong. I think that it takes a writer with MASSIVE balls to pony up and write a fulfilling back story for a well established character like The Master. Russell T Davies did this and answered all the questions I ever had about The Master but never knew I wanted to know. I guess when Roger Delgardo was playing the master opposite Jon Pertwee back in the early 70’s it wasn’t even considered that the two of them were childhood friends that romped across the red paddocks of Gallifrey.
Another big Christmas present for me was the return of the TimeLords. If you only knew of the new Who and hadn’t ventured back into the classic mythology you needn’t have worried as it was all explained for the new Who time line. The only shout out to the old Who crowd was naming the Timothy Dalton character Rassilon (which is a name from the old show if you don’t know). I was a little sad that the TimeLords weren’t used as much as they could have been. Ideally that whole storyline could have taken up a special set of shows on there own. It added a fix to the Master Race storyline and that is all they seemed to do. I know that sounds like a put down and I guess if I am honest it is, but it was still good to see them back. I hope Steven Moffat sees the need to use them again in Matt Smiths era of Doctor Who. Talking of Matt Smith we got our very first look at the new and (not quite sure if he is) improved Doctor. Far to little seen of him to tell if he is going to be a good replacement. But he has the energy that seems to be lacking from the spoiler pictures that have leaked out over the past 6 or 7 months since they have been filming in Cardiff. But the lines about not being a girl and not being Ginger made me smile and I’ll be damned if that guy didn’t bring his whole scrawny knee right up to his lips and kiss his own leg.
Anyway that’s my review of the Christmas Specials. I hope you got to see them or are going to get to see them. It’s a great and fitting way to say goodbye to an Actor who has made the part his own and bought Doctor Who back to the kids again. Bless Ya David Tennant