My Secrets Laid Bare

It’s been a funny couple of weeks. Life had been a swing and a roundabout away from being liveable. I haven’t had to many down periods but then again I haven’t had that many up periods either. Just fleeting glances at happiness, or deep looks into an abyss that has no bottom.
What makes it even stranger is that I have NOTHING whatsoever to complain about. We are doing fairly well financially at the moment I just got a new iPhone and all our bills are paid, we have plenty of food in the kitchen so why don’t I feel contented. What’s missing from my life that I can’t just be happy and get on with my life.

It’s been about 18 months since I “gave up” work. If you don’t remember I was let go from my job because they could no longer support my absences from work. It was all done quite amicably and in the best of humours, but 18 months on I seem to feel at a loss at what to do. I occasionally wish I had worked harder at keeping myself well enough to keep a hold of that job. If I could have sucked it up for half the time I caved in to my depression, I may still be employed and getting a salary that would keep me out of the Benefits system. I don’t have any objections to being on Incapacity Benefit. Of course I would rather be earning a living rather than just getting by on what the government says I need to live on, but I guess that’s not going to happen until I get my life sorted and can keep my head out of my ass for longer than a weekend.

As I mentioned in my last post. I am on Facebook, I don’t contribute to much. I just use it to keep track of what the world is doing around me. I am an observer and not a participator. I sometimes wish that I had more to say about my life in general but I am sure no one wants to hear daily updates of my life:

12:30 – Had a banana for breakfast.

12:45 – Had to eat something else as the banana wasn’t enough

14:30 – Just got back from counselling session – More depressed now than when I went.

15:40 – Had a muffin as the Something else had worn off

You know you get the drift, my life aint that interesting. (That’s probably why I get no readers here).I sometimes think I should just make shit up to put in this blog, just to keep it interesting. I should become a Walter Mitty or a Billy Liar. My fantasy life is much more interesting than reality. But I don’t want to disillusion myself that any form of my fantasy life could ever become a reality so putting it down in black and white is just tempting fate for another depressive phase. But to that end I have started writing a short story. Well it’s planned to be a short story, I am not the most succinct writer in the world and my editing skills are poor to say the least. I just start writing and let it go until I run out of things to say. See, I am giving all my secrets away. I just told you that I put no planning into writing and my only saviour is the wavy red lines under misspelt words that my word processing prog catches… me and my big mouth.

Jumping to a totally different tack now. This past Saturday saw the return of Doctor Who. The New series heralded a new Doctor and a new Companion. Matt Smith as the new Doctor is great.. mad as a box of demented frogs and his sidekick Karen Gillan as Amy Pond is just great. If you went by looks alone you could swear she had a touch of bipolar as in the series opener she was either in a Tarty Police woman’s outfit or in her nightie and dressing gown. I know it’s a generalisation but that’s how I am. I am either in my skimpiest outfit or in my Batman Pyjamas.
The new titles and opening music are going to take a couple of watches to get used to after in not really changing for the past 5 years, but all change is good. The atmosphere of the episode not being London centric and based in a little village almost harkens back to classic who stories where it was an almost nondescript location.
All In all I loved the new series and by the looks of the trailer for the rest of the series to come, it looks like we are on to a winner and the next 12 weeks will most likely be a banner period for Doctor Who as it goes from strength to strength. Saturdays are worth looking forward to again.

Well that’s about it from me… I ran out of things to say for now. So…

Until Next Time…

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