This post has been inspired by yesterdays Budget and the proposal to medically assess all existing and new DLA (Disability Living Allowance) as of 2013/14. I could go on for hours about the politics of it but as I have said before I suck at writing about Politics so I am taking a look at how the changes will affect me.
Here I am sat writing again at close to 3am because of my health. This time I have a killer cough that woke me up at 2am last night and it wasn’t until I took Night Nurse to ease the cough that I got any sleep. I’d take some more tonight but I have to be up in 5 hours to get ready to go to a Diabetes check up at my Doctors surgery. I pretty much know what is going to be said there as I had my Byetta check up on Tuesday and I know that my H-test score is down by 1 point to just over 9 which is what the specialist wanted when I started on the injections, but I am not losing weight fast enough for my liking. I feel like I have lost more weight that the scales actually show me losing. I had only lost 4 pounds in the past two months. I was hoping for at least half a stone in that time. I guess it just means I am going to have to start doing something physical on a regular basis that doesn’t just involve me getting up from in front of the computer and going to make a coffee..yaboosucks.
I am still having major problems with my moods. I seem to be constantly down and miserable. I caught myself starting to scratch my arm yesterday and stopped myself before I did any damage but it was scary that my head was in that harming place. It seems that any little thing can set me off and when something kind of large happens that’s it for the foreseeable future. Modesty forbids me in relating what happened this time. This blog is too open for me to go into details but needless to say I was let down and it hurt a lot. I find that the drugs are not helping but I see no possible help in changing them. I seem to have exhausted my Pdoc’s casebook and although he does tweak what I am on he is reluctant to change anything or try something new. It’s always the same comment. I can’t take one drug because I have Diabetes and all the drugs I haven’t tried and would most likely do me more good mentally are bad for my weight gain (which as I have mentioned before is non existent. I have gained a pound of weight in over 18 months).
I would love to try Seroquel as everywhere I turn in the Madosphere I hear good things about it. It has some nasty side effects like weight gain and over sedating, but then again I haven’t had any problems with any other drug in regards to sedation. The only one that gives me any respite from the Insomnia is Zopiclone, but that’s designed to do that so it doesn’t count. If I could start again with my drugs I would like to be as aggressive as possible to start with and not have to go into the long battle like I am doing at the moment with the massive amount of drugs I am taking at the moment.
One of these days I will properly list what I am on so I have a record of what i take and don’t have to rely on Linda to make up my pills each week. God knows what I would do without her. I’d have to make up my own pills which would lead to many mistakes which would lead to missed doses which in turn would lead to many more crazy attacks which in turn would lead to my probably ending up in hospital or jail which ever caught me first. So ya see my wife is a godsend and without her I am much less of a man.
Oh well I have rambled on enough. I may just take myself off to bed for a couple of hours so I don’t look like a complete zombie when I get to the Doctors.
Until Next Time…
It’s seems that Summer has finally arrived and I fucking hate it, hate it with a passion. I hate to feel over heated all the time to have my arms stick to my sides when I take of my shirt. The only positives of the heat is….. oh wait there are NO fucking positives.
On to other non moany stuff, it’s been a strange week around here. I have been playing Florence Nightingale… yes that’s right folks I have been prancing around in a nurse outfit and getting my jollies off. No seriously. Linda had surgery on her shoulder this week and has been rendered almost incapable of doing anything that requires two hands. So I have been running around doing my best to make sure she is comfortable. It’s no mean feat when she is such an independent person who thinks she is Supergirl and can do shit for herself. As the days go by she is getting more use back in her arm and consequently more more use she gets the more pain she is in. So my work won’t be done for a couple more weeks (at least until she gets her stitches out in 10 days time.
Oh Yeah… some one is having a Bar-B-Q outside my fucking window and the smells are driving me nuts. It’s a smell that reminds me of better days. This particular smell reminds me of August 19th 1999 when i went to see Bon Jovi at the Milton Keynes Bowl. We stopped at a pub and they had Bar-B-Q food for sale there and damn if it didn’t smell and taste the best food I had ever eaten. It’s little memories like that that make a First Concert experience special and unforgettable.
Health wise for me… I am doing OK I suppose. My depression is being forced to the back of my mind as I have so much on my mind to keep Linda from doing more damage to herself. But it’s there and at 4am when I am waiting for Linda to need help out of bed or an escort downstairs so she can have a smoke, the blues rear their ugly heads and not much can shift it until I am called into action again. I am tired a lot of the time and I must admit that I got up at 7am this morning and waited for Mum to come down and I went back to bed and didn’t surface again till 13.30 and I no have a heat headache because a, I slept to long and b, it’s frikken hot here
Oh well it’s Doctor Who time.. time to wake the troops for a trip to see Vincent Van Gogh and some crazy alien of the week.
Stay cool and Stay safe
Until Next Time…