So, it came to pass that 2010 has come and gone and yet again I pretty much failed on keeping the blog up to date on a regular basis. To be fair not a great deal has happened over the past 6 months. Now with the move I have a whole new slew of challenges ahead of me. Fitting in with the new CMHT in this area dealing with,what is looking more and more probable, E.S.A change over. So to that end I make this (semi) promise that I will update more often and make it more focused on not just the day to day minutia of my life but to become more active in the political and awareness aspects of Mental Health.
I’ve said before that I don’t make resolutions for the New Year as I very rarely stick to them but this year I have to make an effort to stake my mark on life and get myself out there more. Now that I have moved to a “safe” are of the country for me, I fully plan on being back in work at some point this year. That will be a whole new kettle of fish. I have been out of the work place for over two years now and I think I find myself in a bit of a rut. I am set in my ways and I don’t have the “willingness” to push myself. That has to change and I need to find new boundaries and continually push them to make myself, somewhat, better.
Onto local news. Since the move on the 15th right through Christmas I felt pretty good. No mega stressers. I handled Christmas Day with my brothers kids really well. We had a great day. I didn’t retreat to my PC all that much. I had music playing through iTunes and that was about it. I managed to have a few drinks over Christmas and not freak my ass out. A couple of beers and a bottle of red wine split with my Brother over Christmas dinner. He was a bit surprised that I was drinking as he thought I didn’t drink with my meds. Which in all honesty is true, but I know that the amount we were going to be drinking over the day wouldn’t really affect me all that much. I spaced the meds and alcohol out evenly so I wasn’t drinking straight on top of the pills. It all worked out pretty well and I didn’t wobble at all. I will probably have a couple of beers whilst watching Jools Holland on New Years Eve and that will be me until the mood strikes again later in the year.
Having said how good I was over Christmas, this period between Christmas and New Year has been harder. I have been taking extra Lorazapam to get me through the evening time as I am finding it hard to cope. Anxiety through the roof for no particular reason other than my mind rebelling against the good work that’s being achieved. For the moment I am taking it one hour at a time and not taking the extra Pams unless things get to unbearable. I just hope things pick up soon. I was enjoying the good patch so much it reminded me of the days before Bipolar was such a big thing in my life. Those were great days where I was ruled by the alarms going off to remind me to take my pills, or the drugged up feeling I get every morning that lasts until the second cup of coffee kicks in and the previous nights drugs have worn off.
Oh well enough moaning. Positive thoughts from here on in.
I hope everyo0ne had a great Christmas and that your New Year brings everything you could possibly hope for. Here’s to 2011 and the good vibes it should bring.
Squeak at ya Next Year Folks
Until Next Time…