I had a crappy nights sleep last night. It wasn’t due to being excited, but it could have had something to do with sleeping for over 8 hours during the day yesterday. I was up at 6am this morning and relatively pain free so I crashed out on the couch rather than sit around staring at the computer again. When I say pain free, I mean that for the past couple of weeks when I wake up in the morning I have an awful pain in my lower back and moving cuts off my ability to breathe. I have put this down to a possible weight gain or that it’s time to quit smoking and get rid of the junk in my lungs. I think 20 years smoking is more than enough. I am bored by it all anyway… so to that end when I have run out of tobacco I will try and quit…. cold turkey.
This may change depending on what happens when I run out.
So, yeah… I got my new glasses today. I went into town with Linda as she had a group meeting at the job centre this morning. I didn’t quite realise that I would be left to my own devices for quite so long. My anxiety levels went through the roof after I left the opticians. I was suddenly very exposed and I felt everyone was watching me. The CBT side of my head said
“don’t be silly”
The voices in my head were saying..
“There gonna catch you, You’re gonna get busted HIDE FATBOY HIDE”
Needless to say the voices won over any CBT solutions I had ever learned. I kind of wish that the react-a-lite lenses in my glasses were more sensitive so they could have hidden my eyes and I could have hidden away behind the darkened lenses. Not that it would have helped much. My glasses are only so big.
I wrote in my last post that I would post a picture of them. I tried quite a few times to get a good picture of me wearing the but they all look like a fat headed idiot wearing some rather fetching glasses. So I scrapped all of them and plonked them onto my printer and took this picture:
Apparently the technical term for these glasses are skull grippers… at least that’s what the nice lady in Specsavers called them. So I have skull Gripper glasses, just as long as they don’t grip as tight as the last pair that left my head with tram lines that a large gauge train could have run down. Here is a slice of me wearing them, I had to cut the rest of my face out… this is a respectable website… I save the horror for Stumpfinger.
My mood hasn’t improved greatly. I think I tried to escape it all yesterday by sleeping and I admit that I did go back to bed for a while when I got home from town. Not that it helped much as I still feel stressed and on edge. I am doing my level best at trying to pull myself out of this funk. but it’s a sticky bugger and it seems to want to stick around. It seems that there is a lot of depression around the Mentally Interesting Blogosphere. Mine is by no means as bad as some that I have read and my heart goes out to anyone that is struggling with getting through each day. I just hope that once Spring starts to show it’s little head through the grey murky clouds, things will start to improve for people, It’s been no real Winter here. We had the snow before Christmas that virtually ground the country to a halt and ever since we have had a few cold days and a shit load of rain. It seems to have rained virtually every day around here for the past two weeks, and not the heavy pounding rain it’s that pissy little dribbles of rain that soak you to the skin and leave you chilled. At least with the heavy rain you get wet and that’s that, this stuff is like acid and burns through every layer of clothing you are wearing.
Oh well I seem to have sunk as low as an English Man can writing on a blog… I started talking about the weather… and moaning about it at that. I think it’s time for me to go and fix Dinner… Spag Bol tonight.
Until Next Time…