Monthly Archives: February 2012

by Paul Hurwood

Support

Happy Leap day folks. I just had to post today so my archives would show a post from today.. sad aren’t I?

A fair bit has happened in the past week or so since I last post. My paranoia has started to subside. I still don’t look forward to going out in public, but I am making steps to force myself to face my fears within reason. I have never improved in my illness without an element of Gung Ho spirit being involved. My head space gets all bogged down with the fact that I can’t do something and I fulfil that attitude by listening to myself.. and god only knows I am my worst source of advice at the best of times. Continue reading →

by Paul Hurwood

Opps

To the people who subscribe to this blog through the handy little box over in the side bar.. you have probably just had a load of email from this blog.

I had a bright idea to import some posts from another blog that had dealt with my Mental Health before IJAR was a twinkle in my eye. I promise it won’t happen again… hopefully.

Until Next Time…

by Paul Hurwood

Need A Break From The Ride

The title of this post could possibly be taken out of context. I am not closing IJAR down, and I am not stopping posting (not that I post a hell of a lot at the moment anyway.) Taking A Break From The Ride simply put is that I have decided that I need to stop some of my more self destructive behaviour. Continue reading →

by Paul Hurwood

Spies

It’s been a while. In fact it feels so much longer than it actually has been.

There is a good reason, well I say good, it’s a reason to me and a damned good one. I am sure there are others who will understand and know what I am talking about.

For the past 3 months I have felt an overwhelming paranoia that has all but crippled me. I haven’t made more than 7 trips outside the house since December 23rd. Of those 7 trips I would hazard a guess that 4 of them were trips to a medical facility and entailed a taxi from my front door to the door of the hospital and the same in reverse. The other 3 times have been forced attempts at trying to break this feeling. It hasn’t worked. I am sat here now at almost 5am wondering how the hell I am going to manage going to a new place later today. Continue reading →