Back On The Horse

After taking the second half of March off from pretty much everything, I am back trying to wrestle some kind of creativity back into my life. The only thing that has been a constant for me is my daily postings to my photoblog I have, without fail, posted one post/image a day since late December. I have found something that I can focus on and improve at without needing to get external validation. It doesn’t matter to me what others think. I am taking the pictures everyday to see how much better today’s image is compared to yesterdays, what apps work for that style of shot.

I have been bitten by the photography bug. I spend more time during the day looking at other photographers websites. I spend quite a bit of time going through the Instagram iPhone app looking at neat images that defy the realms of what I thought a phone could do.

As I had mentioned before I spent about 3 months locked in the house hiding away from the invisible eyes spying on me. A side effect of coming out of the other side of that is that I now feel the urge to go out so much more than I ever did before. Unfortunately I still can’t manage this on my own and I try and make plans that means I can get out with either Linda or Mum. Things happen though and sometimes it’s not possible and I get my knickers in a twist and end up feeling pent up and frustrated that I can’t go out. At this point in time I don’t see what’s stopping me from going solo. The rational side of my brain is saying “Go For It.. what’s the worst that can happen?” the irrational side of my head is screaming “Don’t Go Out.. they will see”. I think I need to take baby steps again. Maybe take a walk around the corner and see what I can see. You see all this impetus to go out is to go out and get more pictures for the photoblog. (I’m hooked.. I told you as much).

I mentioned in my mini update that I had been referred to a Creative Arts Group. Well the first session was last Tuesday and feeling rather apprehensive I showed up and decided to give it my best shot. Now I have NEVER EVER proclaimed to be an artist (maybe a piss artist in my youth.) I don’t create art, I do STUFF. It’s the way I have always been. You need to have a set of skills to create art. If I create anything that resembles good, “it’s a fluke, I got lucky that time.” I don’t count my leanings to photography as Art yet.. I see that as a stepping stone to finding something I can finally learn to be good at. So attending a Creative Arts group would help in seeing the things around me in a different way.

The group is small which is great for me, it’s not overwhelming and I don’t feel as conspicuous by being there. It has a great feeling, a feeling that eventually we will spend most of the two hours relaxing and hanging doing something creative together. We were sent an itinerary of what will happen over the 12 weeks of the group and there doesn’t seem to be anything geared towards a group project, but from the way the first session went, a session or two could quite easily morph into something group orientated, we’ll see.

The first session was Still Life Drawing. There was a 3D collage of items set up in the middle of a few tables pushed together. We were asked to draw what we saw. Be it the whole collage or just one section of it. I knew, for the life of me, I wouldn’t be able to draw the whole thing so I chose a Jar. It was kind of like a Pasta jar without a lid. I spent the first 45 minutes fumbling around trying to get it right, but basically came out with a bunch of stick figures that tried to look like a jar. I think the facilitators of the group could see my frustrations as I spent more time with an eraser in my hand than a pencil. It just so happened that on the whiteboard in the room the resident artist had drawn a diagram of how to draw the jar I was attempting. He explained to me the principle of blocking out the Jar and drawing it in sections. Slowly I started again following his instructions. Over the next 40 minutes my stick figure jar actually transformed into something that actually resembled what I wanted it to. I even got cocky and drew in some detail and shaded the jar. At the end of the session both group leaders commented on how good it looked, and you know what, I was actually pleased that I had improved over the 2 hour period. It felt good.. an instant boost to my self esteem.

Next week it’s collage.

Well that’s it for me for now. I hope no one was April Fooled to badly today. I stayed in bed until 11 so I only had to manage an hour without getting humiliated.

Until Next Time…


One comment

  1. It’s awesome that you went the group! What fun. My jar would certainly end up being a stick figure, I would have no idea how to even begin to draw a “real” jar.