Scherwinnnnng

Well I saw my doctor today and he wasn’t a great deal of help, but then again what can you really say when a 19 stone bloke comes into your office and tells you he’s having a problem with Rage. I guess you don’t piss him off for fear of him sitting on you.

He listened and looked through his magic medicine book (I wanna know what that book is called leave a comment of you know.) He took into account that I thought the Depakote wasn’t working as it should and decided to reduce the Reboxatine to half of what it was, and add in, for two weeks, Promazine Hydrochloride at 25mg twice a day. Once in the morning when I get up and once in the Afternoon so I get the continual support of the drug throughout the day.

All I can say is that I went from “RARRRRRR” to “I Don’t Give A Fuck” in about an hour this afternoon after my first dose. He said it was a low dose and it should ease some of the agitation. Boy did it do that. But I am wary that it is only a sticky plaster over a big crack. What’s going to happen in two weeks when the sticky plaster is removed. It’s been about 8 or 9 hours since I took the dose and I am not sure of the half life of the drug but I am feeling kinda edgy and non drowsy at the moment. It could be that I am still drinking coffee (it’s weaker than i normally make it… i may look green but I aint no cabbage).

OK so I am gonna disappear and do something deviant for a while. Just a quick update and all that jazz.

Until Next Time…

Almost Missed That One.

There I was sitting there thinking that I was forgetting something and the phone goes. It’s thhe secretary of my Pdoc:

“Can I speak to Paul please”

“Speaking” I croak (my voice has gone for some reason I had a three day bout of death warmed up and then after I am over the worst of it my voice goes… I now sound like a cross between Barry White and a Nun who smokes 40 a day for thirty years)

“Just ringing to remind you that you have an appointment tomorrow at 3.30pm”

“Ahh There’s the problem I have an appointment with my CPN tomorrow at 3.30pm”

“OK Let me speak to your CPN and I’ll call you back”

“OK Thanks”

10 minutes later the phone rings again and I croak it …. I mean answer it

“Hi It’s your Pdocs Secretary. Your CPN is not here today so I think it’s going to be best that you come in to your outpatient appointment and I’ll let your CPN know in the morning that your coming in and that she needn’t worry about coming out to see you tomorrow”

“OK Thanks I’ll see you tomorrow… Happy New Year Pdocs secretary”

“Happy New Year”

That was not what I had forgotten allthough I had forgotten it. I still don’t know what I was supposed to rememeber. It’ll come to me eventually. But I digress. My Pdocs secretary is great like that she will call me (and I assume all of Pdocs patients) to remind them that they have appointments. I guess it helps cut down on missed appointments which is always good seeing as Pdocs don’t come cheap.

So that’s my first appointment of the new year. Today also marked the first cancelled appointment also, my CPN has the flu so she called off today… which I guess is a good thing seeing as I wouldn’t have been here to see her in the first place.

My appointment was pretty much the same as every other appointment I have had with the Pdoc lately. He reads off my medications two maybe three times and then we sort of discuss reducing at least one of the medications. Today we actually decided to reduce one of them He cut the Mirtazapine by 15mgs from 45 to 30 a day. Normally I would have railed against changing anything, but seeing as I am going to be seeing the Medication Management team starting the end of this month and the sole aim of those meetings is to reduce my medication intake, i figured we may as well start today.

I am and am not looking forward to reducing my medication. One the one hand I know that with virtually every change we undertaken up to date I have had an adverse reaction and I have ended up worse off in the end. All med changes have invariably been reversed within a month or so. On the other hand I really want off of all these meds so that I can start to feel undrugged for a change. I want to be able to be clear headed and alert. I want to be able to write during the daylight hours and not have to wait until just before bed when I am most awake.

I know I am in for a rough ride the first half of this year and I know that there are going to be dark days ahead and who knows what other colours of the rainbow my days are going to become. I just hope that we can finally find some medication  combo that will shut the voices up and make the fella in the garden go away. Maybe July onwards will be my half of the year hopefully by then things will have sorted themselves out and I will be on a stable combo that is finally working.
Stay tuned for more info…lol

Until Next Time…