As I said in an earlier post I have had one or two posts in my mind for a while and seeing as I seem to be on a roll posting wise I thought I would take a little time to write one up and see if it floats or sinks to the bottom like a stone.

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Money… It’s a Crime

So it seems that our beloved leaders want to screw the disabled over. It doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. They need a soft target and they need to appeal to the masses and seeing as the masses consist of Sun and Mail readers, they are going to go in hard for the “work-shy scroungers.”
It is those two papers that most often hammer it home that there are to many people falsely claiming benefits. I just prey that those who are screaming the loudest about saving £25 a week from IB claimants never get sick and need to claim benefits, because I have heard Karma is a bitch when it bites back.

Looking back over my life I have never had much money. I have never really wanted for anything. I have always been of the mind if I can’t afford it I probably don’t need it. That train of thought was always a bit suspect when I was Living on my own and had only rice and frozen peas in the cupboard and freezer respectively. Yes we got ourselves in debt now and again but it’s always been a source of pride that if I have spent the money I will find away of paying it back. Which brings me to the problem we have at the moment with our bank.

In December they are changing the way they run our account. They are no longer going to be making one off charges for going over your over draft. They are just going to charge you a fiver a day until you get it back into credit. That’s no to mention the £1 a day for having and using an overdraft. So on bad months it could be a case of accruing £6 a day in fees plus having to find the money to get back into the black. Now that (in an ideal world) is a lot more fair than the system they have at the moment, EXCEPT… we haven’t been out of our overdraft in over a year. It’s going to be tough to get our account under our overdraft in time for the December account changes. We are in our £1300 overdraft at the moment and we have been told that there is an account that gives you a £300 pound fee free overdraft (I have a feeling you have to pay some serious fees for the privilege of having this type of account.)We have a meeting with an advisor next Monday to talk over our account options. Which ever way it goes it’s going to end up costing us money. I really need a lottery win right about now. Anything above 2 grand will do.. I can pay off my debts and have a Chinese dinner and we’ll all be happy. Not that 2 grand will pay them all off but it will stop the main ones stealing even more money. One other thing I need to do is look into claiming back some of the fees they have taken in the past. That on it’s own could pay off a bill or two.

Anyway, money it’s a dirty word and I apologise for ranting away and pissing and moaning. Everyone must be having it hard about now and there are far more people worse of than I am so maybe I should just shut my pie hole and get on with paying the fees.

Until Next Time…

Feeling Like A Failure

It’s hard sometimes to keep yourself up and alive and active. Take today for example. I originally woke up at 7.30am and came down and had a smoke, and decided that I would go back to bed for a couple of hours just to get the rest of the drugs side effects out of my system. I woke up again at 11.25am and the morning was shot to shit. I crawled downstairs had another smoke whilst I waited for the Kettle to boil for the first of many cups of coffee of the day.
Next stop is the computer and I fire up iTunes and hit shuffle and let that do it’s thing and then it’s the email to see who is abusing who in the world.
I don’t eat much any more… I just don’t feel hungry most of the time so I don’t eat, simple as. I have to eat SOMETHING to take my diabetes medication so I just have a slice of toast but this morning I felt decadent so I had some jam on my toast. I felt ill after eating it.

The rest of my day consists of sitting here at the computer talking with my brother sporadically and surfing umpteen web pages and trying to guess which random choices iTunes will choose next. I ponder doing housework but that involves effort and energy, two things I seem to be lacking at the moment. I have a list of things that need to be done around here but I’ll be damned if i can muster up the enthusiasm to do them. the day is punctuated between coffee breaks and smoke breaks.

Once everyone gets home I spend a little time chatting with them about what their day has been like… they have had shitty hectic days, total polar opposite to me. They are working like dogs on a frozen tundra and we have nothing to show for it. Money is getting even tighter every day. Even pay day is going to be hard as we will see money in the bank but we won’t be able to touch it for fear of incurring more charges from the bank. It’s only going to get worse I fear.

I know times are tough for everyone right now but i never in my wildest nightmares think that it would be this bad. We are actually at the point of wondering if will will have enough money to make it through the month to buy food. We have a contingency plan of sticking up on pasta and eating pasta with salt for added flavour. Hopefully we will have this very very lean month and then we will be back on top of things again. We can only hope.

My mood as you can probably understand is pretty much at rock bottom. I am secluding myself away from the family for as much as possible, but it’s only a matter of time before that starts to piss people off too. My rationale is that If I am over here on the computer I am out of the way not doing harm to anyone else. I cut my nails off today as I felt the urge to scratch myself again. I couldn’t find any elastic bands to try and avoid the temptation that way so I distracted myself by cutting the nails off. I could probably still make a nice mess of myself but the moment passed and I am unscathed.

Well I am going to call it a night and go to bed. I am starting to get an earache so I am gonna take some lovely pain pills and I should be awake by lunchtime tomorrow.

Be Well Y’all.

Until Next Time…